Dr. Tedd Tripp believes the Bible alone gives insight into the life-changing power that will direct you and your children towards knowing and following God. Dr. Tripp takes the basic truth of Scripture and then helps you build biblical goals that perhaps you were afraid to even hope for. He wants nothing less than to see you and your children thirsting for that new heart that will make Christ the center of your lives. As you view Tedd in this series, remember where he is leading you. His goal for your children is not simply to have nice manners in public. His goal is for your children to know the life of Christ as it overflows from their own hearts. This series is not simply about child rearing, it is about knowing Christ from the heart – your heart first and then in the lives of your children. This is what shepherding your child’s heart means in day-to-day life. As you view the videos, pay special attention to the verses that show on the screen. This guide will help you focus on important points so that the truths Tedd teaches will stay with you. Are you ready? Let’s get started!
A. Where Behavior Comes From
Key passage to grasp and build upon: Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.
B. Why Guard Your Heart? Why Shepherd Your Child’s Heart?
1. Because behavior flows from the heart.
2. What your children say and do comes from the heart.
Deuteronomy 6:4 and following
3. I Samuel 16:7
a. Man is impressed by what he sees on the outside.
b. God, however, looks on the inside.
c. He is not impressed with the outward appearance, the
things that the world notices: height, physical
appearance.
4. God is the heart-knower. He knows what the heart is
really like.
5. God knows that folly is bound up in the heart of a child
Proverbs 22:15.
C. Christ’s Focus is on the Heart
1. It is the issues of the heart that make your child clean or
unclean.
a. This is a dominant theme of our Lord in the New
Testament.
b. Matt. 5:21-22 teaches the boundaries of sin are heart
boundaries.
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. (NIV)
2. Matt 6:19-21 teaches that where your treasure is that is
where your heart is.
D. Parents Often Deny this Direct Connection of Heart to Behavior
1. Examples:
a. I am sorry for what I said – I was just tired.
b. Tell your sister right now you are sorry. Okay –
SORRY!
2. This sort of expectation is a denial of the vital connection
between the external and the internal.
3. This point is made forcefully by Matthew 15:8. God
wants honor that is not only from the lips, but from the
heart.
a. Saying good things without a good heart does not
honor God.
b. It is what comes out of a man’s heart that makes him
clean or unclean.
c. Mark 7:20-23 also says that what comes from within
makes a man unclean.
d. Good trees produce good fruit, bad trees produce bad
fruit. So it is with the heart.
E. The Apple Tree Solution – Pay close attention to
this vital illustration
1. Hanging good apples on bad trees will not solve your
children’s heart problems.
2. The monofilament-hung apples correspond to the real
life denial of the connection of the heart to behavior.
3. Examples of trying to “fix your children’s behavior”
without addressing the heart.
a. The emotional appeal
b. Rewards
c. The shame game
d. Various forms of manipulation – the “Shut-up Jar”
F. Children Will Work with Whatever Parents Give Them
1. The challenge is to give your kids God’s way to live from
the heart. Whatever you use to train your kids – will go
straight to their hearts!
2. What you train them with is what they will become.
a. Manipulation will lead to manipulation.
b. Threats will lead to threats.
c. Emotional appeal will lead to emotional appeal.
d. None of these strategies will point to Christ.
G. The Gospel Must be the Point of Discussion Regarding Change
1. Parents – your goal is to have children relate positively
to the plea of Psalm 139.
2. You want the plea of asking God to search them to
resonate within their hearts!
3. This makes biblical parenting unlike any other type of
parenting.
4. Psalm 139 is a reflection of what is going on inside your
children.
H. To Do this You Must Take Your Kids to Christ
1. Your goal is to have your kids long for that new heart
that can only come from Christ.
2. Teach your children to cry out with David for God to
create a new/clean heart within them. Psalm 51:10
3. This is the real solution!
4. Only the renewed heart can put in place what is needed
to live a life that pleases God.
5. This must be the goal of your correction and discipline.
6. Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart for it is the wellspring
of life!
